Alchemist for Hire
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“I’m telling the truth. I mean it. It's hard to believe you're so beautiful, especially when you said your mother is half-harpy, and I can see that your father looks like a badger that’s been dead for a month,” Tosh said, noticing the King Sigread standing behind him. “With all due respect, Your Majesty.”
Do you revel in tales that dance on the edge of the conventional? Stories that question the world's absurdities and are laced with dad jokes so cringe-worthy they’re brilliant? If that's your kind of story, then you’re in for a delightfully unconventional treat.
Embark on the 'epic' saga of the Eldhjartan Empire’s rise, set in a world where magic beckons the brave and tempts the foolish. Meet Tosh S. Stitten: alchemist by trade, con artist by nature. On a quest to pull off a heist for the ages in Z'ahatum, the Darkhome, Tosh faces a den of nefarious evils.
Tosh’s motley crew is a spectacle in itself. There’s Eire, a half-harpy, half-witch with a touch of chaos and self-doubt, bending the unpredictable to their favor. Cavil, the elf-naturist mage with an ego greater than his libido, brings fierce magical prowess to the table. And then there's Timo-pek, an assassin whose age is as deceptive as his skill with locks and stealth.
But what’s a quest without a king? Enter King Sigread Fireheart, living his life as if in a grand, third-person narrative. He’s banking on Tosh and his eclectic team to secure an artifact that could tip the scales of power and immortalize him as THE Emperor of legend.
Prepare for a narrative journey that skates the razor edge between epic grandeur and absurd hilarity. This tale takes itself seriously enough to be gripping, yet is sprinkled with enough whimsy to be endlessly entertaining. Dive into a world where fantasy and reality blur, and where the true story—and its life lessons—lie subtly woven between the lines. Can you uncover them?
Praise for this book
Loved it! 😍
Dungeons and Dragons meets Terry Pratchett in this magical comedy set in the universe of Eldhjarta!
Alchemist for Hire is the third book in the Eldhjarta universe, and a prequel (or pre-quest) to the two books previously published in this series by Devon Van De Zant. The book follows Tosh S. Stitten who is a roguish alchemist with a flare for the dramatic and an unparalleled skill in thievery.
In the midst of a heist he is cornered by King Sigread himself, who (instead of punishing him) hires Tosh to complete a job for him on the deadly island of Z'ahatum. Tosh is thrown into an adventuring party with; Cavil, a naturist Elf, Timo-Pek, an absorber and an assassin, and Eire, King Sigreads daughter and a Chaos witch to boot. In conjunction with this storyline, we also follow King Sigread in his scheming, which gives a nice perspective to the king's thought process and reasoning.This book is full of funny moments, quirky characters, fourth-wall breaking, and dirty humour. The authors love of Terry Pratchett really shines through in the writing style especially with aspects like Mr. Right and Mrs. Left, who are Tosh's talking socks, and King Sigread only talking about himself in third person, which are some of my favourites.
The pacing is fast in this book, setting up the dynamic between the main cast, the adventure and the return to homeland happening at almost breakneck speed. This book gives new and seasoned readers an understanding into the universe of Eldhjarta, and a look at the events that kicked off the "main quest".